A more honest ad would be:
They're officially on my last nerve.
All they do is poop, honk and chase chickens.
Sometimes they multi-task and do all three of these at once.
The ganders favorite activity is standing at the bottom of the ramp and biting hens on the tail when they go in to lay.
The amount of unnatural mating positions and combinations I've had to witness inches from my boots is just embarrassing.
They are confirmed duck killers.
I suspect they're also responsible for a missing chick and a mysteriously dead hen yesterday.
They have proven impossible to contain in a portable fence since the day they took a stroll down a busy road.
Did I mention the poop?
And the noise? It's like a dog kennel.
I don't have time for this crap, figuratively and literally.
But I love these geese. They are obnoxious and huge and gorgeous and it will be so depressing and sad for me if anyone answers this ad and they leave.*
* I pulled the ad three hours after posting it. Turned out the goose hellbent on breeching the fence repeatedly was looking for a spot to lay an egg, her first in about 6 weeks. I love my geese but evidently it's still breeding season and they are truly irritating as hell right now. I can continue to separate them from the chickens every day until they calm down. I need to improve fencing but for now they're still my burden.