Here are the oldest two this afternoon, searching for a mama T-rex. They saw lots of signs but no dinosaurs.
It seems like every winter I write some ridiculously personal post where laundry is aired and lots of embarrassing adjectives are used. Apparently this year is no different. I'm just going to put it out there, and God knows why.
Three kids under the age of six including a baby. Life is a cycle of washing, dressing, feeding, cleaning, going to sleep late, waking up multiple times at night and getting up early to repeat the whole thing again and again and again. The oldest says really rude things without understanding. The middle one is 2 and screaming for fun because he figured out that he can. He has no volume control. Think "Jingle Bells" at the top of his lungs.. He is offended by everything, picking fights with his brother and then screaming his displeasure. The youngest is a baby and the easiest to manage. The house is a wreck 24/7. It looks like a dumpster blew up. There is constantly a pile of dishes in the sink, crumbs/craft scraps/legos/diapers/outright trash on the floor and baskets of laundry all over the place.. i am still slopping around in maternity jeans because my old ones don't fit and all the shop fittting rooms are still closed. It's exausting and demoralizing. This is the longest I've sat down in days, having said "screw it" to the mess for a night.
My husband and I get to sit down together for about a half hour each night, tops. We watch Jeopardy together.
The yard is a mess. The oldest had a pet silkie chicken named PomPom. Yesterday I caught a hawk eating it.
Let's continue. Why not.
I am so very lonely. The only people we see with any regularity are my in-laws and sometimes my dad. I very much miss our friends. And just having a regular life.
My weight is out of control. Part of me is grateful we don't see anyone because I'm ashamed of how fat I am. It's a nice combination of baby weight, too many ramen noodles (which are really good made Thai style, thanks pandemic cooking) and too much alcohol .
And what the hell is going on with this country. Did everyone see the news today? I just absolutely don't get it. This man has mocked every demographic possible; women, children, minorities, immigrants, veterans, the disabled. He's done nothing for the country but incite hate and unrest. I absolutely respect the first ammendment. Everyone has a right to voice their opinion but my god, could someone please explain the continued support here because I just don't get it.
I am struggling. Really struggling right now. This pandemic just gone on so damn long. And we are lucky to have not been effected in a serious way by it. I understand that.
The highlight of my week was watching Jeopardy last night. The topic involved words related to trees. I don't remember the question but a contestant actually buzzed in and guessed "what is a dick" and Alex said, honest to God, "I know nothing about a dick tree". We got a big laugh out of that one.
So happy Wednesday everyone.
Please don't be so hard on yourself, 3 children under the age of 6 is hard at any time, but in these times without contact with friends and wider family it's near impossible to be the all American family, I know you want to be. Our world is very visual, everywhere images of how we should live, but it's all b*llocks, even on my blog, I show the nicer bits of the garden, the successful finishes, not the dead plants and the project started and packed away because I went wrong. In these crazy times, if you have to judge yourself, look at your son's they are beautiful and lovely boys (most of the time), you find time to sit and laugh with your partner, this is your success, as for a messy house and your weight, that will get sorted. I am saying the same to my daughter, 2 son's under 4 and another on the way, she tries to be perfect, but it's not achievable, the pre-school years are the hardest on you. As for your countries news, we so agree and understand your frustrations, just when you need a steady hand and a leader to respect, hopefully that will be resolved in a few weeks. Stay safe, love your family and please don't worry about stuff that in the bigger scheme does not matter. xxxx
ReplyDeleteThank you. We've been reading each others blogs for so long now that it feels like you have a good idea of what I am like for better or worse. Thank you for the kind words.
DeleteVirtual hug. And breathe...
ReplyDeleteI am trying and sometimes succeeding. Thank you.
DeleteHello dear,your post brought back memories when my sons had that age. I was/am an older mother and because we thought we were lucky to receive the first quickly after we tried to have kids (I was 38 then, 39 when he was born) we thought when he was 9 mths to not wait and try for a second child right away. It might take longer or not even happen, well, nine months later ( a little before I was 40) my second son was born. I must say my husband is 5 yrs younger then me :-). I remember being tired ALL the time. I was blown up. Hormones all over the place. I was either breastfeeding, washing, cooking or cleaning (sort of). Night feeds or dreams from the eldest, not a normal night. I once punched my husband very hard in his sleep because he slept/snored through it all. I am not a violent person :-) The youngest one was a (dutch word is deugniet)sweet rascal, allways looking for the borders. I had one crawling and one starting to walk.
ReplyDeleteIf I look back I can only remember how tired I was. But when I see photo's I see the good things, I let them play in the mud, whe wandered in the dunes, they were happy. I see in your pictures also happy children. Believe me, it will get easier but it will take time, I joked it took me 9 years to recover. Was it a joke? And you are right, it is no piece of cake. It would be easier in a non covid time. If you could talk/see your friends, you are not alone in the way you feel, and knowing that is comforting, you miss that now. I wish it will change soon. Please feel free to post these blogs. Being so tired makes your feel this way. Again you are not alone. In a perfect world I would now come to you, take care of the kids for an afternoon so you could take a big long nap! All I can give you now is a big virtual hug.
Oh goodness Wendy,thank you. I smiled so many times reading this. I am an older mother as well (41 now) and feel like motherhood of littles is absolutely a young person's game. I am 41 and old!
DeleteAnd I absolutely laughed over the bit about you punching your sleeping husband. I am starting to suspect there is not a mother out there who has not been very, very tempted to do the same. On a nightly basis.
I am so sorry that you are struggling. These are difficult times, but we must get through them for ourselves and our families. There is an end in sight. We will have a new president. We have vaccines that look like they are effective. We will be able to get together again. In the meantime cope the best that you can, please realize these struggles are temporary and things are just about to get much better. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you Donna. I know you've had a tough time as well. I feel like we all could have weathered this storm better of only we had competent leadership. I really do hope help is on the way.
DeleteMy boys were close in age. I remember napping every day I could while they napped to help catch up on sleep. Housework could wait until later. I also forced myself to sew a few minutes a day or read. I played lots of uplifting music from musicals as I was also lonely...pre cell phone days. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the nudge. I know I need to take care of myself but it seems like there is nothing left at the end of the day.
DeleteLaughing helps at least a little. https://www.cinemablend.com/television/1714309/watch-alex-trebek-say-dick-tree-on-jeopardy
ReplyDeleteThank goodness the sun is out today. That helps too. XOXO Lynn
Oh,Lynn, thank you. I feel like I sounded the distress call and you showed up. Thank you so much for the visit yesterday. Love you both.
ReplyDelete